We are what we pretend to be

digital edits

2011-05-13T13:45:00.000-07:00

I need my own sitcom

2011-05-10T22:06:00.001-07:00

I bet i'd last longer than Paul Reiser

2011-05-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

2011-05-10T21:23:00.000-07:00

Shit, how about some out-takes instead of art

2011-05-04T13:51:00.000-07:00

This laptop has gimp not photoshop. I barely remember how to work photoshop, i dam sure don't remember how to work gimp to get my signature look.

2010-11-24T18:20:00.000-08:00

Guarde Au Shien

2010-11-20T19:11:00.000-08:00

I'm not for anarchy but i did like their cookbook.

2010-11-06T16:59:00.001-07:00

Seeing in color

2010-11-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

You know ill never look at the couch the same

italians don't know how to que

2010-10-31T12:16:00.000-07:00

But i 'm getting caught up on film

Image dump

2010-10-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

star

2010-10-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

fun with filters

2010-10-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

My heart is free. Or i really need to work on my since of timing

2010-10-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

Well, the first thing I remember is the last thing that I saw,
Morning hit the barrel of a rifle going off.
Then the daylight wrapped around me,
Then I heard the sergeant scream,
Then all my reservations fell gently at my feet.

I was sure there was a reason to take that side and fight,
But when I saw the trembling hands that put that shot in flight,
I saw the hands of Jesus, saw the shores at Normandy,
Saw a hundred thousand weary lost and homesick boys like me.

The courage asked of my heart has traveled far beyond those lines.
Seems it’s always for a few men that so many of us die.
You don’t remember my name or the girl that I made proud,
And whatever drew me from her arms is nothing to me now.

Now my heart is free.
My heart is free, and all the things that hold a man no longer carry me.

If i wasn't such a jackass, i would have made it to the tift merritt show.

Didn't shoot this weekend

2010-10-24T14:44:00.000-07:00

It just wasn't in the cards. I did however develop a shit ton of film. My back log is now four rolls of 35mm, some 8x10 paper, and 6 sheets of 4x5.

I developed a lot of cool shit. I also developed some painful stuff. I imagine it the reason subconsciously the pile grew to such enormity.

Pride mixed with pain is a uneasy combination. Memories and wounds are still fresh. Some things though won't see the light of day, or a scanner. They will get buried deep in the dark.

This isn't Nam donnie, there are rules.

2010-10-20T14:44:00.000-07:00

I'm a laid back kinda guy.

I've couch surfed, and let people surf my couch. I used to do it in italy as barter with traveling art models. Haven't done it in the states. I'm more than willing to let someone couch surf for a few days, but I have rules. Click on the image to find out what they are.

Yes i'm that guy.

Getting to know the locals

2010-10-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

2010-10-08T22:44:00.000-07:00

I emailed this to the president.

2010-10-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

bring out the gimp

2010-10-01T22:25:00.000-07:00

Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

"What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?

Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle a miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.

Well, the way they make shows is, they make one show. That show's called a pilot. Then they show that show to the people who make shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if they're going to make more shows. Some pilots get picked and become television programs. Some don't, become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing.

I'm in gulf shores. this laptop has gimp not photoshop. Oops

Dove la festa?

2010-09-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

A grit, a sort of rawness

2010-09-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

My film like my soul, hangs in a closet, dangling from a broken chain held by paperclips and clothespins.

No duct tape yet

Foo YU

2010-09-20T13:30:00.000-07:00

Foo Hu

Even my fuckups

2010-08-16T06:16:00.000-07:00

kinda look kewl.

Words fail

2010-08-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

I been hanging around this town on a corner
I been bummin' around this old town so long
I been hanging around this town on a corner
I been bummin' around this old town for way too long

Fucking with people, celebrity edition

2010-07-05T13:39:00.001-07:00

I'd buy that for a dollar

2010-07-01T17:42:00.000-07:00

tuesday's gone

2010-06-30T05:15:00.000-07:00

Nashville skyline

2010-06-22T20:28:00.001-07:00

I shot these years ago. I just did these in my current style of editing.

Sam the sham

2010-06-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

Got some safe for work stuff up on myspace.

i call these 5 minute edits.

I am the walrus

2010-06-13T00:41:00.000-07:00

Kat again. I love semiautomatic weapons and hot chicks.

the kat came back the very next day

2010-06-02T17:47:00.001-07:00

I'm going to work with kat for a month. Let's see what develops

i like toast

2010-05-31T13:46:00.000-07:00

Everyone Needs

2010-05-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

More blondes in their diets.

down with the sickness

2010-05-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

I'm all better. Prilosec is a miracle cure-all

Choices choices.

2010-05-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

I worked with Jay in Naples. I know what it's like over there.

A new toy or fucking with Van part deux

2010-05-17T21:32:00.001-07:00

Fucking with Tara

2010-05-14T15:09:00.000-07:00

Oh hell yeah

2010-05-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

Dis why i'm a film guy

Fucking with people, orginal edition

2010-05-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

I hate to double post.

2010-05-11T23:43:00.000-07:00

But this is fucked. What is going on at omp. And why did it take 6 months for them to realize this image kicks ass.

A kinder gentler machine gun hand

2010-05-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

Neil Young had it
right

Fucking with People

2010-05-09T21:58:00.000-07:00

friends

2010-05-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

Cinco de Mayo, blow out ohio

2010-05-05T16:30:00.001-07:00

I like working with the same people again and again.

April is a good sport and fun. Not to mention check out her eyes.

Strange Little Girls

2010-04-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

Tori Amos seems a strange source for inspiration.

For one day

2010-04-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

I got surprised twice. I really only do 3 websites with my art stuff. DA, Here and mayhem.
I've got profiles all over modeling and art sites doesn't mean i do anything with them.

Yesterday i updated omp. today i woke up to this

I like surprises.

Constant Craving

2010-04-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

When i came back to alabama i didn't want anything. No krispy creme cravings, mcdonald's i'm not a fan of, and papajohn's sucks.

I did find something i've wanted for the last 3 years but forgot about.
Standing in the kwik stop, looking up i saw it.

I half expected a choir of angels and then the monty python hand to come flying in.

What i found, what has brought me joy today.

Concepts and execution

2010-04-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

Scroll down to my post "old ghost" to see the concept.

this is what i got.

I'm happy

foma

2010-04-15T06:28:00.000-07:00

fomapan 400 rated at iso 200, d76 1+1 8.30 mins
great combo i'm keeping for future reference

plus x, photoshop

2010-04-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

Life is good.

cooking

2010-04-13T14:15:00.000-07:00

Rodinal and plus x is a nice combination

I have an Ipod touch

2010-04-11T19:57:00.000-07:00

It has 8gbs of space.
Wireless internet, easy access.
Itunes, I can play bejeweled.
Watch a movie. Listen to music, i love music.
Use as alarm clock.
This gizmo has so many kewl features.

I only use the stopwatch. It is awesome when delveloping film. I know when to agitate, my soup times never more consistent, but i use the silliest feature of a 250 dollar toy, that could be done with a normal watch. Go fucking figure.

These are all film shots.

Get crazy with the cheese wiz

2010-04-10T20:56:00.001-07:00

I can't figure out if i'm going overboard or not. Fun along the way though.

Holy Kurze Katze

2010-04-10T19:23:00.001-07:00

Somedays, I impress myself

Finally some new shit

2010-04-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

Well i've been stateside almost 2 weeks. I've done 3 shoots since then. The first 2 were out at oak mtn. Part of my release with those shoots was nothing on the internet but gallery shows are good to go.

I shot with an amazing young woman today. Her name is April. This is her link. http://www.modelmayhem.com/791050

Hire her.

It was good to work in a studio setting again. As much as i've enjoyed working outside getting ready to start the glass plate shooting in earnest there is a comfort level i have being in a studio.

The one roll of b@w i developed of her this afternoon looks like it will kick ass.

old ghosts

2010-04-03T14:54:00.001-07:00

some shots from 10 years ago. Even when i sucked i was talented.

I'm going to disneyland

2010-03-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

So i'm out of the army. I have a dd214. That is depart of defense discharge paperwork.

I'm still in italy until the 29th. Normally the army wants you stateside as soon as your handed the paperwork. I worked a drug deal with the military transistion office and the military travel agent.

So what am i going to do. For the moment i'm couch surfing at my friend's house. Not to bad. Thursday i'm going to hop on a jet and go to eurodisney. And by that i mean amsterdam.

Shshh.

I hope to be shooting again in mid april.

Life revolves around kafe

2010-02-20T01:56:00.000-08:00

At least in Italy.

Breakfast is a capochino and cornetto.

Mid morning break is a kafe.

After Lunch a kafe.

When you have a big italian meal, kafe is as much a part of the end as is desert.

Before you go out for a night on the town kafe.

When you see a friend you go get a kafe.

If something is worth doing you get a kafe before you do it.

If you want to buy cigarettes you get a kafe. (I say this because 95% of the smokes sold here are sold in a cafe.)

It's a wonder anything gets done in italy. I'd put money on it that pregnant italian women get a kafe before they give birth.

Sometimes i think culture shock is going to hit me hard. I asked a model to get a kafe in the states when i land in alaBaMa. I'm under the impression she thought i was asking for a date.

How embarrassing. Susan would chop off my balls.

To every person that reads this i thought i should try to explain about kafe

The end of an era

2010-02-18T10:16:00.000-08:00

Moving from europe to the states is a giant pain in the ass.

I can't do much shooting because well i don't have much gear here.

The movers came and my house is empty. All that is really left is paperwork.

Paperwork to get out of the army. Paperwork to get the animals stateside, mountains of paperwork.

I don't think i've ever blogged about my muse. She was a wonderful young woman from the states that lived in Roma for awhile. For the price of a train ticket and little pieces of america i had someone i could work with at the drop of a hat. Really awesome. I got to work with her 4 times. Every time the images got better. I think it a certain level of comfort and trust that develops the more you work with some one. Nervous jitters just seem to drift away. I often think if i could find that one muse, that one person to work with repeatedly i would never look for other models while i had the option to work with her. J was the second time in my life i had a muse. The first was Rain. Really awesome girl that i wish i had stayed in touch with. When we are young we do stupid things. Some slights, little arguments get blown out of proportion. Live and learn.

The states will be awesome for me. I hope to find a new muse. Set on my ass and earn a fat check from the government just going to school. I think i'll take photography, italian and underwater basket weaving.

All those wonderfull toys

2010-01-27T11:53:00.001-08:00

Sitting at my folks house waiting on march 9th i have 53 boxes full of toys.

They are about 4 months worth of impulse buying on ebay and i can't wait.

8x10 pinhole.
4x5 press camera.

Minoltas, Canons and fuji's oh my. I even picked up another bronica.

Film and chemicals.

Life will be good if i find a nekkid local girls.

Riding on fumes

2010-01-15T11:40:00.003-08:00

burned the last of my chemicals on this. Waiting on resupply. Still a shit-ton of film to develop

out of gas

2010-01-08T12:31:00.000-08:00

so much film,

no chemicals

uggg

rossa

2009-12-16T06:44:00.000-08:00

I'm cool like that

2009-12-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

i shot a shitload of film

2009-12-07T03:41:00.001-08:00

these are just digital snapshots, now if only i could get the chemicals to cool down quicker.

2009-11-24T09:28:00.000-08:00

Holy hedy N

2009-11-23T12:36:00.000-08:00

wow

American Traveler

2009-11-22T11:03:00.000-08:00

I found a film/developer combo i love. Bitch of it is i'm almost out of it. Then i'll be developing stuff with a new combo called Pyro.

Such is life.

Shot a traveler the other day. First time in 2 years i worked with an american. No language barrier is an awesome thing.

Weekend update

2009-11-11T06:26:00.000-08:00

I worked with Sonia out of Pisa this weekend.

She is a little bundle of energy. She is actually the first italian i'm thinking of working with again.

Didn't get to shoot as much film as i would have liked.

films

2009-10-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

I'd forgotten how much i liked efke and rodinol.
I think when i get stateside i'll play with that combo again. To much film coming in this week to even ponder buying some.

Kodak, fuji and foma pan yeah. Also going to be trying a new developer called hypercat-hd. It a pyro based developer should be kewl.

look what the cat dragged in

2009-10-15T11:50:00.000-07:00

c41 and black and white medium format

I'm kool like that

2009-10-13T13:19:00.000-07:00

Graffiti is the new Black

2009-10-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

Yeah my model showed up.

Boo i went with a more complicated light setup and i'm not super happy with some of the results.

In hindsight i should have gone with a black backdrop.

Kicking ass on some natural light shots so all in all i'm happy

twas the night before

2009-10-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

A shoot.

I'm nervous. Will this lady show up. Will i get flaked.

I've gone thru all my ritual. Pulling cameras, grabbing film. Looking at lenses and thinking of angles.

I've improvised a studio. Lights are set up, a background erected.

I've even cleaned up some in the garage. I might shoot down there.

A tripod is found. Furniture has been moved.

I've found a great tunnel near the villa to shoot at.

There are so many things i want to try, but i will keep it simple. I'd rather do a simple shot well than a complex one poorly.

Chemicals are brewed.

I've got that tingle in my spine.

If she shows up i'll have a good time.

Pompeii

2009-10-03T07:22:00.001-07:00

Is lovely when you don't get on the wrong train.

Women say the darndest things

2009-10-01T22:46:00.000-07:00

A recent note from Susan. It's in response to this shot.

"you used my puppy as a prop with an overly made up......woman who could bear a striking resemblance to a street walker?"

I think she is over reacting.

The dog is such a bundle of hyper-ness you can't really use her as a prop..

Check out this pussy

2009-09-30T11:14:00.001-07:00

So i got some new toys in the mail.

Most important is a lightmeter. The piece of crap jtl one i took to iraq is very inconsistent. To the tune of +or-1 fstop. Not good. I think it the reason i blew out the highlights on some of the film i developed last night.

Second toy is a chicom beauty dish. I'm digging the light it threw on little Ryoko just now. No photoshop, just straight from the sensor.

The third and final toy is a cheapie light. It is a square perfect 200ws. Honestly it is a piece of shit and i'm pissed that i spent what little money on it i did.

Randomly fires the flash if you walk by it. Doesn't accept any aftermarket softboxes or reflectors.

If anyone is tempted to get one you should pass on it.

2009-09-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

DJC came by to work with me on my Pompeii project. We shot a good bit of film in pompeii. We also got to shoot a little bit at the house.

Go figure some kool toys show up the day she leaves.

Nude models are fun to work with, but this girl is more of a fashion model. She kept her clothes on and was still fun to work with.

She was born in argentina. If all the women look like this i'm thinking of emigrating.

Kiara in silver

2009-09-23T13:57:00.001-07:00

Scanning film is every bit as complicated as working in a traditional darkroom when you do it right. It is rewarding but it just isn't the same as the magic when you see a print come alive in the developer.

This shot makes me want to start printing again.

I can't wait.

I'm good, she is hot

2009-09-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

Talking with Tim

2009-09-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

Tim is going to put me up on my journey in search of the American dream. Being me i was going to drop him some kafe in the mail. Post office was closed so it hasn't been mailed. I dropped him a note after he advised me on some large format gear. Here is an excerpt for comedic effect.

i picked you up some kimbo, but uncle sam keeps working against me when i go to the post office.

the first time i went the navy closed the post office for training. the second time i was kept in meetings most of friday. by the time i got down there the navy guys had slipped out early because it was friday.

TIM

Ah, I looked up kimbo on the different dictonaries and Google...Urban Dictonary had this: "a really beatsly lesbian, with airbrushed cap. that likes to eat ice cream. " If this is it, please don't send me one!

Some times I like it when other people make me laugh.

More Canadian Goodness

2009-09-18T16:18:00.000-07:00

Wow just wow

Toys in the attic

2009-09-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Well i got a new toy in the mail.

It is a foldable softbox from backdropoutlet.com

Made in china but very interesting. I can put it together and have it mounted on a working light in less than 3 minutes. It opens up just like an umbrella.

I have a similar one in the states. It takes 30 minutes to assemble and get on the light.

So far i'm impressed with it. The universal mount actually works on my bowen mount cheapy flash and it is a double diffused design.

The light is quite acceptable from it.

p.s. I hate my nose

p.s. again

this is what part of the alphabet would look like if q and r didn't exist

Shit

2009-09-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

A 120 v studio flash plugged into a 220v outlet makes a nice pop and creates lots of smoke.

Rest in pieces little monolight you served me well.

I went local, I didn't go native

2009-09-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

Something must be said for living in Italy. I love the kafe. The bread and the cheese are amazing.

One can not describe the taste or the sensation of eating buffalo mozerella. It must be experienced.

Italian wine is awesome. Neopolitan pizza is even better.

Even with the burning trash, crazy drivers and lack of personal space i find myself thinking more fondly of this strange region of Italy. If it were not so hard to find models for my artistic endeavours i might even contemplate retirement here.

Italian language has also slipped into my language patterns. I find myself saying preggo, graziea, domani and adiyamo with no internal monologue translation.

The locals speak with their hands as much as their voice. This is creeping into my behaviors as well.

I wonder about culture shock when i hit the states. I know my taste buds won't be happy.

No really the Italians love me

2009-09-09T05:28:00.000-07:00

So I just dropped off Christelle at the train station. She was wonderfull to work with. I was a tour guide for a bit. Taking her to Pompei, showing her the wonders of Neopolitan cuisine. We got to shoot for a little bit last night and a few hours this morning. I really wish i had spent more time shooting with her than being a tour guide. It is allways be like that i guess. She truly was a blast to be around and what images i made with her i think will be awesome. It is a wierd thing to invite someone into your home for a few days. I think it really changed the dynamic of the shots we made.

Let me plug her http://www.modelmayhem.com/356929 . Whoever reads this should hire her.

I am so ready to start playing with the images, and developing the 5 rolls i shot with her. I think i need to wait. What i edit today wouldn't be what i love next week or the month after that.

Whenever i get stateside I'll go from Atlanta to Cali. I'm going to turn it into an 8 day voyage into a search for the american dream. I'll be swapping equipment for crash space and reduced rates with models.

I've found couches in San Antonio, and Las Vegas, not to mention Arizona. I really hope to find somewhere in New Orleans, or Baton Rouge.

San Antonio will be awesome. I found a fellow cat person who will loan me his studio and dark room in exchange for me playing chef and manual labor for a bit.

Today at this moment. Life is good.

Fucking neopolitans

2009-09-01T14:37:00.001-07:00

So the film shop by my house was a bust. They ruined my roll.

Out of 16 shots they damaged 8 frames. How the hell do you do that.

The shots they didn't ruin they printed horribly. Lousy crops, worse color consistency. I shot the entire roll at the same speed and fstop. Little bastards. Hope the cammorah blows em up.

Honestly i think they should be chopped into little bitty pieces and burried alive.

There is one other shop here. I have a sacrifical role i'm going to take to them. If this place doesn't work out looks like i'm going to have a month long wait to get color films developed and prints back.

The nex can do 120 but won't process or print anything with nips or labia. I might just have to do a series of implied stuff to tweak them.

One of the other things i do to avoid being a raging alcoholic is spit shine boots. I finally checked my mail today and i got in 2 nice pairs. A pair of the ripple soled altamas and a pair of the old style basic issue.

The problem is i ran out of lincoln wax. Probably the best shoe polish known to man. Did some work with one pair stripping em down with saddle soap and building up the layers with kiwi.

They don't have a mirror shine and this leather never will but they look good. Can't wait till next week when i wear em to Pompeii.

ART

Next week will be awesome. Getting to shoot a model who is way more stunning than i am talented. I've sketched out some ideas and i'll have plenty of time to work everything out and some shooting space here at the homestead to boot.

forte died. so it goes...

2009-08-29T15:31:00.000-07:00

Today was hot. I spent the afternoon cleaning my garage for preperation for next week. I've got someone coming to visit little ol me and we shall do some shooting.

Now this is the kicker. The stupid dog. I spent 100 euro fixing up the front yard so the little houdini bastard doesn't run around in the parco.

I swept, I mopped, i moved stuff to load into the car to take to the dump. The garage looked good.

that little dog.

Who has a big yard to run, jump, play and pee.

That little dog ran into the garage and proceeded to wee.

Art

I developed the last roll from my euro trip. It looks good. Now the unfortunate thing is i have no negative sleaves for the rolls i developed. So they are just hanging out in a shower till adorama resupplies me.

I'm a little depressed. Forte is out of business. They are the funky little hungarain company that made the film i like. I have 2 rolls that i haven't shot yet. Then it is gone. I guess i'm going to have to find something else. I have a film called t-max on hand and another called across on the way. The are very modern films and i tend to prefer a retro look. If i don't like either one of them my choices are slim. Foma a czech company makes some good stuff. Illford a product i love and endorse has priced themselves out of my reach. I just refuse to pay 5 bucks a roll for film.

I have some chinese film i'm going to play with domani. It's called lucky. We shall see.

Microdol, not Micro dot

2009-08-27T11:58:00.001-07:00

So i brewed up a batch of chemicals last night. I've done two rolls of film and have two left.

I have to say so far i love microdol x.

I like the way it makes my negatives look. The tri-x and the fomapan look phenomenal.

The only problem i've found so far is that there isn't a ton of info about using it with my eastern euro films. Everything says use it straight, don't dilute it.

I like diluting developer. The film sits in it longer. Harder to mess up when it sits in the chemicals for 20 minutes as opposed to 8.

Naples in the summer is not suited for home dark room work. The room temps tend to hover around 85 or 90 with fan and ac.

So i did what any good artsy would do. Stuck the chems in the fridge.

This presents it's own problems.

Taking the jugs out so teh temps can reach 68 takes about 95 minutes. Not so bad. The insane amounts of condensation that form. Yep that bad.

One the color front.

There is a store 5 mins from the house that will develop 120 color film. 5 day turnaround but that beats the hell out of mailing it out. Also cuts down on the worry factor if i were to take it to base to get processed.

What is depressing me at the moment is i don't have a film scanner. No way to scan the shots to share with the world until january or february.

I'd buy one but i have a kick ass one in alabama. And a dedicated one is about 600 more than i'd care to spend.

Euro Trippin

2009-08-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

So I took a little trip last week. Went to northern europe. Had good food, better beer and got to clear my head.

This trip proved to me that there is no way i will ever re-enlist. Uncle sam has gotten to much from me the last six years and i won't give him any more. I tasted freedom for the first time in 6 years. I won't give that up ever again.

I also figured out that i will move to monterrey in January. No job, no school being a househubbie is a dreadfull proposition to me. Maybe that will be a short transition. I am degreed, i just spent 1/2 a decade chewing bubblegum and kicking ass who knows.

The highlight of this travel would have to be my artisitic endeavours. I actually got to do some shooting for the first time since january 08. What a joy. I rented studios, hired some girls and just got to be me.

The first studio was nothing special just the top floor of a photographer's house. It was cramped but had a good kit. Reminded me of working from home.

The second studio was omg wow. 15 feet to the roof. Open and airy. Lots of space to work with.

One of the softboxes i worked with was bigger than me. I loved it. And it was only 20 euro an hour. If i had known that i would have stayed there my whole trip and just had models come in and out.

The depressing thing about this is i won't get to work with another model for quite some time.

Naples doesn't have a thriving scene. I do however have something to think on in the not so distant future.

Monterrey isn't that far from san fran. There are a few nice rental studios over that way.

So it goes